Blonde: Bewilderingly Bad

Blonde 2022

Director: Andrew Dominik

This review will not criticize Marilyn Monroe in anyway because this film has absolutely nothing to do with the real Marilyn Monroe.

No film has rendered me speechless the way Blonde did (derogatory). While the film begins with an underwhelming attempt at advanced cinematography, the moments following are prime examples of poor execution. Not only is there a lack of reason behind the characters and their actions, but given that there is an attempted explanation, it is unclear, underdeveloped, and unworthy of the audience's time. In an attempt to evaluate the film fairly, I will attempt to remove my feminists views and solely look at this as just another film.

No amount of editing could fix this abomination. The problem lies at the source. The brainstorm for Blonde should have been left as just that: a brainstorm. Executing this foul attempt at a film was the second mistake the team made. This should never have left the page. The transitions from scene to scene are sloppy and careless. The plot lacks the ability to tell a real story. Instead the audience is stuck watching clips strewn together in an attempt to make a point that does not land. Essentially, they tried to recreate every famous picture Marilyn took and added a terribly traumatizing story behind each one. There is no continuity whatsoever.

The acting is menial and yet somehow overdone. There is nothing worse than watching a film and feeling like you are doing so. Any film that fails to transport the audience from their place of origin to INSIDE the story is a waste of a watch. Unfortunately, (fortunately) this film is the perfect example of a bad movie. Ultimately, there is no art in this. No characteristic makes this worthy of a watch. This film shows the ugly in a world in an ugly way. That is not what art does. Even if the story itself is not beautiful, art finds a way to create beauty in its execution. Blonde does no such thing.

From a feminist point of view, this is disgusting. As someone who values women's story and the TRUTH in them, I can assure that this is not the way to respectfully show a woman's journey. Instead this film makes a mockery of Marilyn Monroe and her story with its distasteful nature. Women's stories are not just a series of unfortunate events. There was not a single happy moment in this film. What kind of story does that tell? The intent of this film was not to tell a complete story. If that were not the case there would be ups and downs, highs and lows, that would expose depth and showcase the actors' range. Rather, Blonde makes a point to turn a spectacular woman's life into an unbearable tragedy that's completely false. While I understand this is based on a fictional book, I still feel this is a very inconsiderate way to honor Marilyn Monroe. In fact, I can assure the direction and production team of Blonde that Marilyn Monroe is rolling in her grave. If you wanted to show a woman's real story, fine. Theres a way to do that. For one, it takes a level of respect and honesty that is lacking in this depiction. Respect for Marilyn is undeniably lacking in Blonde. But also showing the twists and turns of someones life makes it all the more entertaining. ACCURACY in these twists and turns however is key. At the end of the day, the film's downfall is boiled down to the lack of respect the team had for Marilyn and women in general. You would never find a film made about Marlon Brando or Frank Sinatra that uses their likeness to intrigue a crowd only to exploit every form of trauma they could have possibly endured. Fictional takes on Brrando or Sinatra's lives don't exist because people have enough respect for them as men. Why was the same respect not shown to Marilyn as a woman?